Friday, June 14, 2002

Aha! And my wish for mindless and menial work at Target is realized!!! I'm a happy little clam these days. Boy, those clams sure ARE happy, aren't they?

I was asked to come in last night at 10:00 for orientation. It was all going so well...the loss protection lady cut her normal 11/2 presentation down to 10 minutes just because she knows that, moreso than any other shift, overnight workers don't give a CRAP. Plus, I think she just wanted to get home. My manager cut back his presentation as well, and the whole thing looked like it would be wrapped up in about two hours. Then the whole shift went on break, so he made the four of us new-hires go too, and after that they had this cheesy "huddle" thing where everybody gathered and listened to all the new info. The manager took that opportunity to introduce my cohorts and I to the crowd (about 50 people), made me wave and everything. I couldn't believe how many people still worked there from before (3 1/2 years ago)! The difference is that now there are a whole bunch of Hispanic workers there, so all of the things mentioned in the huddle were also translated and the whole thing took twice as long. It was awesome, though. I'm so excited about having the chance to speak Spanish everynight. At one point I had to translate a video about bloodbourne pathogens to the two Spanish-speaking new-hires. Talk about challenges!

Anyway, after the huddle, I was waiting outside this room to get my ID picture taken, and I heard somebody say "Hi Kisa." I turned to see this guy named Brian who used to be the manager of the shift when I worked there before, but who now apparently just changes displays or something. Anyway, the funny thing to note about this guy is that when I worked there before I had the HUGEST crush on him. It used to drive me crazy, couldn't sleep, all that jazz. So, like the smarty I am, on my last day, I decided I needed to TELL him about the crush, made a total fool out of myself getting all red-faced and stuff. He was like, wondering why I chose my last day to mention it, all this...but he never gave me the impression that he returned the feelings. No big deal, I was about to leave for sunny California! I got over it. So now, 3 1/2 years later and the guy has to STILL be working there. When I saw him yesterday, I was thinking 'what on earth did I ever see in this person?!' He is one of those people (and as I hinted at before, the majority of the night crew is like this) who just seems to hate life or something. Super quite, super disillusioned, smoker, plays paintball for kicks, has shaved head - looks like a skin head, has worked at the same job he can't stand for over five years. Sounds dreamy, right? Then I realized that he was actually just my type, for the time when I was interested in him. I don't understand this...I LOVE life, I'm not disillusioned, I hate to sit in corners and scowl and be lazy and I don't fancy the idea of pelting my friends with little balls of paint. Opposites attract, I guess they say. But I'm done with all that. I used to be attracted to the shy boys because I thought they must have some really interesting thoughts going on in their heads. It took me dating three of them before I realized that they're really NOT thinking anything interesting at all, which is why they aren't saying anything. Ok, so maybe that's a harsh stereotype. I'm sure that there are plenty of interesting shy boys out there (I know quite a few interesting shy girls), but I just don't want to date them. People who wear their emotions on their sleeve...that's what I like. No guessing, no always wondering if they're REALLY having fun or not. Yes, I lost interest in the shy boys a while ago.

So now I'm faced with the task of trying to work with somebody whom you used to like, and behaving in a way that makes it clear that you are no longer interested. Cuz don't you just HATE when you know that somebody thinks that you like them and they're like trying to avoid you and stuff and you want to tell them (or convince them) that you don't really like them but you know that if you do it's gonna seem like you really DO like them?! That sucks. The store's pretty big, though, I should have no problem avoiding contact.

So, after that run-in, we had to go back for more training...this STUPID interractive CD-Rom about safety that lasted an entire hour!!! There was this little robot that you had to make do all this safe stuff like mop up spills, help a guy who had fallen and whose head a huge box of detergent had landed on (picture this in cheesy, primary-colored, low-tech graphics), and put out a fire that some little kid had started in the automotive aisle. The thing took way too long and was so, so boring and sleep-inducing at 2:00 in the morning. The best part was when they introduced the codes for the intercom...code yellow = missing child, code red = fire, code green = somebody hurt. The robot would get on the phone and say three times "code yellow, garden, code yellow, garden, code yellow, garden" in this total robot voice that I decided I'm gonna use if I ever have to make such an announcement. No influxion, just the robot facts. Then they'll know just how well I was paying attention during my orientation. I hate when execs approach techies and ask them to develop interesting training tools about subjects that could never possibly be interesting. A whole HOUR of that stupid robot!!!!!!! Anyway, it WAS pretty funny, I got a good kick out of the ridiculousness.

I've gotta get ready for work now. I promise I won't talk about work all the time...unless something really exciting like a code green happens.

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